9 years have passed I have graduated lol all the Makers classes, healing, dreaming, moving, time travel and much more.. then teaching, helping new students find their path and most importantly their own healing. As student it did seem to me that the path was set for me to follow and it could be the classes were well structured that each students has to go through with ease and confidence that whatever we set foot at the beginning of our journey is not only possible but doable.

I enjoyed being a student not because I felt the changed and the freedom it brings, the magic that we experienced and the truth that only few people did manage to see. I enjoyed here because I found the community and the support(talking about energy) of course. However, the same as with all students that at some point we need to come out and have to venture to the world where we apply our knowledge and skill. This is exact analogy I am referring too. I am out of school and lived in the world where it is so different that what we have learned. This is the world where the normal for humans is not so normal for us.

Where do we stand.. I am still humans, I have needs, I am affected by inflation, by political upheaval, the climate change and now the emergence of AI. How do I move to a world where 99% of humans who inhabit it are shaping the reality through their unhealed emotions and prejudice. 

When I surf in the internet or exploring forums or any media, the contents are enormous, like everyone has something to share, and why not, what's wrong with that. But I lose of words sometimes as I read their motivation of doing it, I do understand, but sometimes ignorance is bliss. It does sometimes make me not wanting to say at all for it seems people can't understand that there is a different world..

I figured, I need to keep my biggest intent where 9 years ago I set in and does looked easy but now I realized the integration and the implementation is not so straightforward. Where should I go.. should I just pretend that I didn't know about freedom, about change, about what humans are capable of becoming. 

Where should I begin.. I keep asking myself.. the spiral is massive and deep but there is a space to start I know.. I thought, I have to find my passion, the one that sets the fire within...

Happy New Year all!!

Perhaps 20 or 30 years ago, I dreamed of this life, where and what I am now is the outcome of all those dreams. We have so many dreams, and there is no shortage of wants and needs but as the completion of one would lead to the next and the next, there is somehow truth about the song by The Rolling Stone, (I Can’t Get No) Satisfaction.

Is life has been set up this way? I asked one time. I know some people are okay with it, it could be because they are too busy to meet the demands of life or they feel they don’t have a choice, or could be they don’t notice that there is something not quite right with it. I can see clearly that we are living in this world where we agree to a certain degree of rules; that money is the currency that people must have to survive in a world of material consumerism. People have to want something for whatever reason for satisfaction and yes it does to a certain timeframe but nothing lasts. People keep on finding the right job and once found it does feel that you have succeeded in the quest but only to find out that after a few months or years, the work that you used to like turns into dislike. I guess anything that we want in life once it materializes give us happiness and a sense of fulfillment but it has expiry dates, even in an intimate relationship, it was once started as love but unfortunately, down the road, it turns to hate.

So what do we want? Or where the ‘need’ comes from. As a practitioner of shamanism, I know that human beings are not just physical, in fact, we see physical body is only a fraction of our totality. Besides the very obvious lump of clay as they say, we have different layers of energetic bodies working in coherence and unison which affects our human physiology, health, thinking, feelings, behavior, everything, in fact in the visible form we call it human and the invisible aspect we call Being. Knowing there are two aspects of us, the human in the flesh forms that need to be fed, sheltered, clothed, and nourished. While another aspect of our totality remains to be seen, to connect, and to be remembered. I see the sign of the cross as an epitome of the truth of what it is to be human.

What I’m trying to drive to this post is our complexity yet quite simple if we see the bigger truth. I have deep compassion for the misery of the entire human race as if we were played out by some powerful forces, sort of we are subject to a lab trial. In one aspect, look at social media, it’s maddening to see how emotions somehow are being manipulated by some form of big brothers out there. It feeds off an individual’s trigger whatever that person’s leanings and proclivities. Is that bad? I don’t think so as long as it gives those people the freedom and healing in the long run but the issue is, it traps people in their wants and needs more and more and people get angrier than ever, and more stress and fear ensues.

The human psyche is conditioned for pleasure, I mean who wants discomfort and stress by the way? But one of the spiritual books I read a long time ago says suffering is the way to salvation or something like that. I didn’t understand that bit, it could be how religious perceived suffering and salvation, I reckoned. But hey, if the earth is a schoolroom and we humans are students, are we not supposed to progress from a kindergarten way of understanding to a more advanced like becoming a university graduate or even becoming masters?

I see it this way, though. What was once interpreted as truth should be again and again interpreted in a different new light, different vision, and a heart to see the bigger picture. There is no end to our wants and needs if we can’t see that we are not just a physical body but we are much beyond it capable of performing miracles and wonders. To perform an extraordinary feat, is this not a sign of mastery of life on earth? I would very thrilled if the human race could find the way to it.

Again, what do we want?

We all know that we all have hearts. No one is born without a heart and no one lives without it.

I see that all we want in life; is mostly material things, things that make us happy even if short-lived. We want to be surrounded by people who can make us feel safe, we want financial freedom, we want harmonious relationships intimate or not, we want stable jobs, we want to feel valued, we want our voices to be heard, etc. All these wants and needs are masking the true motivation of the deepest need and want we all have and that is finding our heart. It might not be obvious that amongst the endless lists we all have, the ultimate purpose of why we are here and now “Finding the heart.” that once was connected to the heart of the One, the Source or Universe or God, whatever you call it. It’s sad that not many people realize that at its core, what we want is our heart. No wonder the search is never ending, satisfaction is out of reach, people are in constant stress of finding something but can’t figure out what makes them truly joyful and satisfied. Eons have passed, human is still dreaming, sadly the dreams continued and end up into one’s grave. Is this the fate for us humans?

What do I want. I have figured quite long time now. It’s my biggest Intent and it’s my Will that propels the path to it.

Namaste

Just a few minutes ago, I stumbled upon a Facebook post—someone promoting a product about self-healing. His bold claim? He could teach people to self-heal in under five minutes. I have to admit, I was tempted to buy the book. It sounded promising. I’ve been on my own self-healing journey for the last ten years, and I still wonder: is there really an end to it?

That said, I’ve come a long way. I’m no longer a slave to my emotions. I’ve learned to choose what I think, how I feel, and how I respond. I move more freely in life and often get the outcomes I want. In many ways, I can say I am self-healed. But there’s still more—something deeper. It’s no longer just about healing the self. It’s about healing our connections: with each other, with the Earth, and perhaps with the universe itself. Healing, is not linear—it’s spiral. It circles back, deepens, expands. Much like everything else in life.

This brought me back to another timeless question, now debated in more modern terms: Which comes first, thought or emotion?

Some say it’s emotion. And I get that. Emotions animate our experiences—they give life its vivid color. As the saying goes, “Emotion is energy in motion.” I agree that emotion is a powerful force in shaping how we live and what we perceive. In many ways, we humans are a bundle of feelings. And often, that’s where we get stuck. But if we can move through those emotional layers, we reach a deeper awareness. So yes, those who say emotion comes first may be right.

Then there are those who argue that thought comes first—and emotions follow. I can’t disagree with that either. René Descartes summed it up in one iconic phrase: “I think, therefore I am.” He saw thinking as the foundation of being. And at a more surface level of consciousness, it’s true: much of what we experience in daily life is the result of our thoughts and imagination. You don’t need to feel angry to dress a chicken, or feel sad to sew a beautiful dress. Carlos Alcaraz doesn’t need to feel fear before pulling off a stunning drop shot. Thought can lead action without emotional prelude.

Ultimately, I believe that both thought and emotion are essential, beautiful, and inseparable parts of the human experience. They influence each other. Sometimes thoughts drive emotions; other times, it’s the reverse.

So who wins this debate—thought or emotion?

As a shaman, it depends. There’s no fixed formula. Human beings are multi-faceted. We have a physical body that follows its own laws. And the body alone is a mystery. We have emotions that make life vibrant and messy. We have minds—intelligences behind every experience—where thoughts arise. We have dreams that sometimes feel ominous or strangely seductive. And we have the heart, or the soul, or the essence—whatever you choose to call it. And then deeper than these layers.. are mind boggling mysteries.

In short, there’s no straightforward answer. It all depends on where you are in your evolution.

Whichever camp you fall into—whether you believe emotion leads or thought does—stay curious. Keep learning. But never dismiss the other side. Because in the end, everything comes full circle.

Belle

Most of us — myself included — spend much of our lives inside our own heads. The mind seems to have a mind of its own. We live on autopilot — what many call the unconscious state. In a class called Shamanic Mind, I learned something that changed the way I see everything: the mind doesn’t just process reality — it creates it.

The future, it seems, may already be set. Everything is waiting for us to walk into it. Intent is the force that transforms potential into form. It’s happening whether we’re aware of it or not. That’s why some people can "see" the future — because intent is always shaping it. Potential is simply what could be — and it waits until intent moves it. Every moment is in motion, regardless of whether we like where it goes. It’s a kind of law — one with the feel of chaos, but an underlying order. A paradox, really.

Life, I’ve come to feel, has its own intent and power. So does death. In the Shamanic Death class, I met what we call the “death advisor.” It’s a ruthless, honest presence. At first, I found it annoying — even maddening. I thought, “Why not have a life advisor instead?” But eventually, I realized something: death and life are like two inseparable siblings, two sides of the same coin.

The death advisor showed me the truth, often in ways that were uncomfortable, even ugly — but deeply necessary. Its harsh message was simple: I wasn’t truly living. And over the years I began to understand that, in many small, unconscious ways, our daily actions, thoughts, and emotions are aligned more with death than with life. We resist life without realizing it — and death waits, always patient, always certain.

I know it might sound dark or even depressing — but I don't share this out of despair. I just want to voice what’s true for me. The education we get from schools and universities trains us to survive — to get a good job, earn money, and assume happiness will follow. But that’s a belief system based on a certain kind of perception — a filtered view of life.

Perception, I’ve realized, is everything. It defines the boundary within which our life experience unfolds. It’s like the canvas on which our personal world is painted. Yet perception is not fixed — it can be shifted. In shamanism, this is called moving the assemblage point — the place within us that determines how we perceive the world. Others might call it a shift in consciousness.

That, to me, is the real meaning of “awakening” — or even the deeper truth behind biblical phrases like “the second coming.” When we free perception, we free ourselves.

Perception and consciousness are partners. The assemblage point — the shamanic term for our inner lens of awareness — illuminates our reality and interprets what we experience. Two people may encounter the same event, but their perceptions shape entirely different realities. Their reactions, responses, and inner stories will never be exactly the same.

Life is relative. No two people are identical. We are One — woven from the same fabric — yet each of us carries a unique expression of that same energy. I believe we’ve always been the same, before time and in time. We travel through this life and beyond, but it all happens within the realm of perceptual awareness.

And the most comforting realization of all? We’ve never been broken. We've never truly been separate from the truth of our being. That thought made me smile.

Happy exploration and be a happy learner.

Thank you, and till next time

Belle