Hey UnknownPatterns,
I've had certain experiences in my life that bent or warped my energy against myself in such a way that spiraled me into a self-loathing and self-harm way of existing. In the end it is my energy that is at play and the outside energies and influences that i internalized caused me, in a sense, empower those energies. Essentially i gave up my own personal power and surrendered my energy to those thoughts and experiences that shaped my energy into that self-harming form.
There is an exercise in the Maker tradition called recapitulation (recap) that helped me to kind of reclaim that energy. Like, it helped me see where i was giving power to the external and allowing it to create my reality in a sense. It also helped to sort out what experiences i had that were making believe that i "am" this or i "deserve" this.
In essence it helped me reclaim my personal power from those experiences and people who "shaped" me.
If you'd like to check out the recap practice i'll post it below.
https://www.shamanscave.com/self-healing/the-recapitulation
Another thing i found very helpful was spending time in nature, as it has a very grounding effect for me. Kinda allows me to decompress from the things that are making me feel overwhelmed as well as letting go of things im holding on to. This helped a lot with settling into my own energy.
Regards,
Alex