FinWanderer

Ahh okay, Are you sure it did not go into spam folder, I can see if I could re-send it without the password. But it should show up just normally, in your email... And then it will ask for that password I messaged in your inbox. I just thought it was kind of "weird", especially taken out of context, so I figured that, hmm, it's better if there's a password so less chance that someone else reads it. Don't worry about being busy, it's fine. But I think because my email address is uncommon, and you have Gmail, it could easily go to "spam".

Hmm, yeah I think I do sometimes have these encounters, which I could further interpret. Sometimes I just get lost in the stampede of interpretations after interpretations. But I think know that feel when you discover flashes of some hidden truth. I will think about emailing, somehow I'm feeling uneasy about sharing too much about my persona via internet nowadays. I'm not even active on typical social medias. Well I do have a pinterest and steam account, but no facebook for example. I read your story about your encounters with the spirits btw, it was a lot to go through, sounds like very personal experience ,- difficult to translate that kind of experiences to other people. And perhaps there comes the issue with myself too, I'm not sure what should I tell about myself so it's not irrelevant or too much. My favorite band, if i had to pick one is Nokturnal Mortum, but i don't even listen to black metal everyday, i'm quite flexible with my music taste, Nokturnal's music is kind of mixture between shamanic and black metal, well, I suppose its "Folkish black metal". Drudkh, is also good, and also Ukranian.

I thought we would get along to some extent, even though there must be many differences in our lifestyles. Then there are similarities too, and somehow we were drawn here, this must be a mental ward. the maker people are the staff, but we the fugitives have our own theories, staff goes shaking their head. Perhaps I must mention that I'm probably more harsh to any shaman, than a normal person would be, because I know about the cold reading technique some people use. So they really had to tell me something that I haven't given them already. And that shaman who I spoke of kind of missed it because we had 1 hour video call + 4 hours of IRL conversation before her session. So, vague representations of what might have been going on explained in symbolism didn't quite convince me. And I sensed the oppressive being/energy being just annoyed for that shaman claiming to have gotten rid of it. Not only that she claimed that she restored parts of mine and my spouses soul, and she did this remotely - it's a lot of claims at once. I have been told things online earlier, by a witch not shaman, but she too used shamanic type of travelling to check things for me- Some of those things may have been right, but I can't say yes or no because we also talked a lot, and I haven't been able to fact check everything. Also I did not pay her like I paid the IRL shaman so it's irrelevant in that way to compare. And I never precisely asked her about spirit animal. Even though the tattoo is cool idea, don't you feel that you have further condemned yourself to be that prodigy? it's your personal business, your tattoos ofc. I know it’s a two way street, not because I knew of your experiences, but because it often is, and that’s why there is both, a bullet in your flesh, yet strength found in that fact. You have made it so. I could think of few animals that could be my spirit animal, but I would like to be sure, like actually meeting it in some fantastical way, yes I expect them to talk to me :-D. What kind of benefit does knowing your spirit animal give you? does it help you get around in life and beyond ?

That tattoo idea is quite cool actually, you must know your runes well, for now I couldn't make such phrases without using online translator. Dimmu has come less interesting after they kicked out Vortex and Mustis, 1998 and 1999 cd's are pretty good example of their better work, although I did like in sorte diaboli, which was not always common among the fans. Even though I seem chatty, every reply I post here kind of hurts me. with frustration, despair, and shame. Isn't that weird? not saying that I was twisting in agony, but still.

Yeah, I know very well it means wolf, that's probably why that famous Varg also changed his name to that, from "Kristian" which ... means Christian, heheh. Hmm, yeah it's interesting that Asatru is so much in contact with jail in Americas, it's hard to comment anything on that. I don't think it's necessarily only bad that it's a racial thing there, the other ethnicities are sure to have their own things, so why not something for European originated people as well. Hmm, it's kind of awkward to comment more on that otherwise. What I'm basically saying, is that I'm glad if it helps, but I'm also unsure if its anywhere near the same as what they practice as Asatru or Forn Sidr in scandinavian countries. Here in Finland may be only solitary asatrus or private groups, old finnish religion is basically more diverse set of beliefs, part shamanism, part polytheism, part animism, part black magic. "Karhun kansa" is finnish folk religion organization, although they have only 65 members. You'd be surprised what kind of folk magic we had, it's quite vulgar, and less known these days even among finns. Being a "man-witch" was more common unlike in Scandinavia, even though many magical customs had to do with showing female genitalia. Very diverse set on beliefs really, perhaps influence from both west and east. I know nobody asked but I was narcistic enough to represent my country anyways, hahah. I'm not sure about my spirit animal, how did you find yours? I was told what mine was by a shaman, but I just find her whole story about "my curse" difficult to believe.

Hi, Funny thing, i'm somewhat close to asatru, i have heard Thor speaking in sleep paralyzis. But i'm sure in many ways i'm very different than you, for example you seem very much identified with manliness, where as i'm biologically male but psychologically i'm of no specific gender, but that's how the seidrs are too -> sorcery was "forbidden" or at least shunned for male people, and they'd dress in female clothes to become of no gender. Maybe this is why when i was younger i flipped out at baba yaga when she came, told her i was a man - even if i had asked for her to teach me. I also did not go to military training, even if its a standard in my country =), don't know if you despise that decision with your background. I do have a hunting license thought, but i have never actually hunted, and I would want to do it in fair and ethical way, like bow hunting. The prey would have a chance, and uhh, i would get boost from actually managing to hunt something with a bow. I do kind of collect weaponry with my spouse thought, CO2 guns, knives, swords, axes. I'd say regardless of our gender we both express both genders. I always automatically always think of Varg Vikernes, when i see the name Varg :-D. Suppose in my weirdness i'm more like mr Espedal (Gaahl) than Varg, but not exactly. I'm not sure are these people even popular in USA, so you might be wondering what the hell. But perhaps you listen to Wardruna? Gaahl was formerly associated with them, and their lead singer was associated with Gorgoroth. mentioning these people was somewhat trivial, but the meaning was to sort out the cultural context, of both art and shamanism in our living spheres. More like a pagan in general myself, than a specific type of shaman, a lot of people of course have problem calling themselves/others shamans anyways if they are not tribally chosen, but i don't much care about that. I think saying that I was a shaman would make no difference for someone who is not into paganism and all that. I'd be a bad shaman anyways, i can sense a lot of things - but i also mess up a lot. If you have read Sapkowskis hussite trilogy, i'm like the Reinmar Bielau guy, always running in to troubles of some sort. (If you have read it, don't spoil it, i'm waiting for Lux Perpetua finnish translation this summer).